Skip to main content

My Situation


With my little man, Draygen

Let's see...how to make a long story short? I am a 40 year old mom to this adorable little guy whom I never thought would be in my life, let alone my husband of 4 years (10 years known). I am beyond blessed by my boys.


Draygen is happily asleep on Daddy

As I said in my into, it's beyond me how I got here, to this place, with husband and child. I grew up pretty much friendless most of my life, shy, non-dateable, no social life, low self-esteem, (being overweight didn't help either) and generally what I defined myself as, someone who a "normal" life just wasn't in the cards for. Because of all this and my past timid personality I missed out a lot on life experiences when I was younger. I was too scared to do anything, or felt like I didn't deserve to. So I guess you can say I've always been a late bloomer, for lack of a better term, and so here I am having my first child at 40. There are so many things that happened that shaped who I am today and how I got here. My life could have been a lot different and less fulfilling if I stayed on certain path's and Praise God that I was guided elsewhere. 

I met Ugo (my husband) back in around 2007ish, we became fast friends (online) several things led to us becoming a couple, but our friendship grew and nurtured that. We ARE an online and long-distance relationship success story. You hear so many bad things about online dating and long distance relationships but we made it work, we had to, we love each other too much not to and we both knew how worth it that it would be. Many ups and downs happened during this time and it took a while and several visits across the US for both of us, not to mention being separated a year after getting married before we could actually be together in the same state. We missed each other terribly but we always talked, every day in fact, always open, always communicating to each other our feelings, needs and worries, there has never been a need or want to keep things from each other and we love each other through things. We both have our own issues, hey, we're human, and life is hard right? One thing in particular that was rough on me was losing my dad back in 2009. It was sudden, my first loss of a loved one, and it crushed me. Of course I was depressed, but Ugo was always there to talk me through things and listen. I would have been in a very bad place without him by my side. It still puzzles me to this day why this man wants to be with me! lol Even though it does, I've stopped questioning it because I know God chose to bless me, and give me someone to help and to love.

4 years later after being married we find out I'm pregnant. Now this has always been a worry for us since I'm a little older than Ugo. We were of course concerned about birth defects or other mental or physical problems the baby could have. So we finally had a big talk about it and said, hey, if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't, either way, God's got us. (It happens meaning, if I got pregnant or not) Unfortunately...this first pregnancy ended in miscarriage after 9 weeks. Again I was crushed, and we were both hurting so much. It took a while to get through it and I will always be sad about it but then 5 months later I found out I was pregnant again! You can imagine the flood of feelings and emotions we both had about this along with the worries that it might happen again. Praise God things went really well! We got past the 14 week mark, and had a healthy pregnancy the rest of the way. We went to genetic counseling and the nurse ruled out a few things, which felt great to hear, and we opted to not do any testing so we wouldn't have any risk of another miscarriage. As I said, I am very blessed to have such a health baby. The only issues was that he didn't want to come out the old fashioned way, and I wouldn't dilate! So my biggest fear, the C-section was necessary. It turned out to be not so bad though. If you're interested, you can hear about that here.


So currently Ugo, Draygen and I live with my sister and my mom. The situation isn't exactly ideal since we really want our own place, BUT it is such a blessing. Its great to have family around to help out with the baby and I'm happy that they are a part of his life. We almost lost my mom over a year ago and by God's will He allowed her to survive and be her to meet her grandson. If you have the chance to have family or friends around who are willing to help, be blessed by it!😇

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feeling Unloved...

This is me and my emotions right now about this subject and as  silly or illogical as it may sound to anyone else.  I am hurt by other people and by my baby. First of all, I am not stupid. I realize my 5 month old son does not have the decision making skills in his brain to purposely seek out to hurt, manipulate or play favorites. I know this, I do.  I'm just having a really hard time lately with the fact that Draygen's new ability has been displayed upon everyone but me. In other words, he has learned to reach out to people that he wants, and he doesn't do that for me at all. He puts his arms out and get's excited when he sees his aunt and his daddy, and leans toward Grandma. I admit it's jealousy on my part...considering I'm the one who takes care of him the majority of the day and gets up with him at night. I feel like maybe I need to go away on my own for hours just to see if he likes me when I get back!
Post a Comment
Read more

In a rut

Draygen was being camera shy...lol Baby and I seem to be in a rut. We are both bored these days with the same old toys, books and video songs. I have a lot of ideas for things to do when he's older but he's too young (10 months now) to do any of those things right now. So we end up doing the same old things. *sigh* Any ideas on what else to do?? I've looked up what to do with a 9/10 month old and I've basically already done them! Either that or they are short little things that don't occupy much time. I love my little boy so much and I want to be able to entertain him and enjoy it myself, but I'm find it increasingly difficult. Walks usually cure the boredom for a while for both of us and they take up time, which is great, but the weather has not cooperated lately. Last week we had several days of snow that stuck around and this week it's cold and rainy. To top all this off I'm battling a shoulder impingement injury...no fun and not easy when const...
Post a Comment
Read more

What's A Mamma Bat?

Proud Mamma Bat If you've come across my blog and by now you are wondering what the heck is a Mamma Bat? You could go look it up, or just sit back and listen to me explain. I consider myself "alternative" when it comes to my style and I identify with the goth subculture . Elitists may argue that I'm "not goth" because I don't dress goth 24-7 but that's a whole other can of worms. The point is I love goth style and everything creepy and spooky. Goth's who are new to subculture are often called "baby bats" so therefore being a goth like mom, I call myself a "mamma bat." I call Draygen my little beastie. My little Beastie A Skeleton outfit is of course a must for every Baby Bat!
Post a Comment
Read more