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Frustrations & Guilt

I suppose any new mom might say, "I love being a mom, I really do, I love my baby so much, but I need a break from him/her?!" or "I love being a mom but I'm so tired and frustrated!" or...any other number of phrases triggered by sleep deprivation and emotions.

In this post I'm gonna get down to the nitty gritty, the truth, those thoughts and feelings that I have that aren't so great, that aren't so nice about motherhood. Maybe you've had them too but were just waiting to see if anyone else felt them before you admitted them out loud to yourself? Or maybe you are a perfect new mom who has never felt these things at all, but I highly doubt you being human if you don't.

Frustrations
  • Baby napping peacefully in his bed in the day but not at night
  • Having to be the only one who gets up with baby at night
  • Watching others sleeping while I'm up with baby 
  • Others taking over when I don't need help and not available when I do!
  • Baby settling down for others when you worked your butt of trying to calm him
  • Boiling bottles, nipples and pacifiers
  • People who act like your child is going to be an unhealthy idiot just because he drinks formula (this one really irks me, especially since I've tried so hard to breastfeed and pump)
Frustrations, at least for me, give birth to my old nemesis, guilt.

Guilt
  • Wanting a break
  • Being tired of the nightly routine
  • Feeling lonely
  • Wanting help
  • Not wanting help
  • For husband having to take care of baby (I know this one is silly since its his child too, but I get in that mind set that I should be able to handle everything and he's tired from work and needs a break too, etc...)
  • Thinking I know best for baby
  • Wanting him to take long naps so I can sleep or get things done 
  • Wanting time alone
  • Not trusting people
  • Not having a job outside the home and my husband being the bread winner (even though he's cool with it)
  • Longing for the past before you had this 24/7 responsibility
  • Being tired or sore all the time and feeling like you're annoying for constantly voicing it (even though its very true!)
  • Resenting others for not taking care of cleaning or other household chores
Will I feel better about these things? Will I get over the guilt I feel? Maybe, maybe not. I honestly do not know right now but what I do know is that I pray daily (several times a day and night!) for God to help me through all of these struggles. Getting them out of your head and down in writing or even verbalizing them to yourself can really help. It wont make the feelings go away, but there will be a little less stewing going on inside you and at least you will have owned the feelings.

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