Tales of a New Mom -aka- The Mama Bat

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I suppose any new mom might say, "I love being a mom, I really do, I love my baby so much, but I need a break from him/her?!" or "I love being a mom but I'm so tired and frustrated!" or...any other number of phrases triggered by sleep deprivation and emotions. In this post I'm gonna get down to the nitty gritty, the truth, those thoughts and feelings that I have that aren't so great, that aren't so nice about motherhood. Maybe you've had them too but were just waiting to see if anyone else felt them before you admitted them out loud to yourself? Or maybe you are a perfect new mom who has never felt these things at all, but I highly doubt you being human if you don't. Frustrations Baby napping peacefully in his bed in the day but not at night Having to be the only one who gets up with baby at night Watching others sleeping while I'm up with baby  Others taking over when I don't need help and not available when I do! Baby se...

Proud Mamma Bat If you've come across my blog and by now you are wondering what the heck is a Mamma Bat? You could go look it up, or just sit back and listen to me explain. I consider myself "alternative" when it comes to my style and I identify with the goth subculture . Elitists may argue that I'm "not goth" because I don't dress goth 24-7 but that's a whole other can of worms. The point is I love goth style and everything creepy and spooky. Goth's who are new to subculture are often called "baby bats" so therefore being a goth like mom, I call myself a "mamma bat." I call Draygen my little beastie. My little Beastie A Skeleton outfit is of course a must for every Baby Bat!

DRAYGEN This is my little guy. He is 2 months old and he is truly my treasure. I honestly never thought I'd have a baby, let alone a little boy. My husband and I wanted a girl, had the name picked out long ago and always assumed we'd have a girl, but this little guy was like, "Nope! Look at me! I'm a boy!" And every ultra sound after that, he made sure we knew it. It was a little weird at first but we quickly got used to the idea and right away chose his name, since it's a spelling variation of what my husband originally wanted. He's such a sweet little guy and we adore him. He just started smiling and doing this little giggle thing and every time I see a smile from him it makes my day! His Birthday Draygen was born early. His due date was May 2, 2017 but because of my age and first time pregnancy the doctor wanted me to be induced. He was born on April 27, 2017 at 12:22 pm. Labor induction was painful and didn't work and after 38 hours, we o...

With my little man, Draygen Let's see...how to make a long story short? I am a 40 year old mom to this adorable little guy whom I never thought would be in my life, let alone my husband of 4 years (10 years known). I am beyond blessed by my boys. Draygen is happily asleep on Daddy As I said in my into, it's beyond me how I got here, to this place, with husband and child. I grew up pretty much friendless most of my life, shy, non-dateable, no social life, low self-esteem, (being overweight didn't help either) and generally what I defined myself as, someone who a "normal" life just wasn't in the cards for. Because of all this and my past timid personality I missed out a lot on life experiences when I was younger. I was too scared to do anything, or felt like I didn't deserve to. So I guess you can say I've always been a late bloomer, for lack of a better term, and so here I am having my first child at 40. There are so many things that ...

     I'm starting this blog on the couch (on my phone's note app, later typed up via laptop), while my two month old son is at the end of the couch sleeping on his little pillow, while my husband is snoring away in the bedroom. My sleep schedule is all kinds of messed up (Ha! What sleep?!) and those pounds I was so longing to shed after the baby was born are still here, a cushion for baby and what my husband affectionately calls, "Marshmellowy."       It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be walking with the stroller, smiling away and working out at the apartment gym while baby snoozed away in the stroller. But this has not happened. Why? Because any mom will tell you her number one answer: "I'm too tired." We all have the best intentions for ourselves to get back in shape and gain our confidence back while enjoying our new baby but instead this becomes an unrealistic dream wrapped up in a child who is in constant need of you...