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Tag Team Parenting

     

     My husband suggested that I blog or vlog about being honest with your spouse about what you need when it comes to raising your child. So did both. (See vlog here). Even though I have the majority of the time at home with our son, my husband and I are a team, working together to care for our little boy. I am with him all day until my husband gets home from work, then its daddy time. Ugo has a stressful job working with kids, so I totally understand his need to detox when he gets home. I try my best to give him his space and time alone for a little while before dropping baby in his lap but sometimes I'm just so tired and grateful that he's home that daddy doesn't always get his down time. On the other side of the coin, I'm not only with Draygen all day, but up with him at night as well. So I don't get a whole lot of down time myself.

     The great thing about our marriage is that we talk. We communicate our needs to one another and actually listen to each other and try to help each other out. If I need a break and Ugo is home, I tell him that I'm tired or need to go workout or just have some me time, and he is great about it, he obliges and takes over. I hope that I do the same for him. I'll admit there are days when I just want to tag him in as soon as he walks in the door, but I hope he knows that if he needs a specific amount of down time that he can tell me, "Hey, this is what I need to chill out from work, and be my best for baby" then I will totally understand. I honestly don't know how single parents do this. I commend them. I'm so grateful to God that I am not alone and that I have a loving husband and father to tag team with.

     You've heard it many times before, but it rings so very true, and maybe even more so as parents: Commnication IS KEY. If you don't communicate your needs to one another, than there will be assumptions or oblivious times where one of you has no idea that the other needed some help. So in order to be successful as a parenting tag team, you MUST communicate your needs. I will be the first to admit that I'm not as good about this as my husband because I have too much guilt. I don't feel like anyone  should have to help me, like I should be able to handle things on my own and at times I feel incredibly bad for asking for help. I have these irrational fears that someone will resent me or think I'm lazy or irresponsible (yeah, I have issues).

      If you are left feeling like you are alone with too much of the fight, then tag your partner in, but don't just assume they know what's going on with you or how you are feeling, especially if they have been out working all day. Tell them what happened that day, what you need and why. It could even just be as simple as, "Hey, I just need a break." That goes for the working team member too, the one coming home from a job, if you need some down time before being tagged in, or didn't have the best day and just can't even, then please let your partner know what's up with you. The main point is, that communicating your needs to your spouse, your tag team parenting partner, will be healthy for you and your relationship as well as integral in your need to be at your best to raise your child.

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